May 18th, 2003

Postbox Fairy


Have been feeling a bit groggy and unfocused over the last few days, and disinclined to actually do anything much. Spending days not doing things then makes me feel useless/guilty etc, so not brilliant, really.

All fairly readily explainable, I suppose, in terms of the aftermath of the wedding and the honeymoon, although I'm not sure that's precisely what I am feeling - I'm not aware of feeling any disappointment that the wedding's over, simply grateful that it went so well. I never had huge expectations pinned on it, so I don't feel like I've been cheated out of anything, or lost anything.

There is, though, something of an end-of-holidays feeling about going back to work tomorrow, mundanity etc. plus the fact that I no longer have "I'm getting married" as a reason to leave early or refuse extra work (I like my job, I honestly do, but I think we're going through the equivalent of a relationship rough patch at the moment - key issue, I suspect, being the actuarial exams, from which I took a break in the 6 months preceding the wedding, but will now be studying for again, and which I keep failing, which isn't pleasant).

Anyway, will go away from the computer now, make some coffee, and then either do some housework, write a list of things to do, or do some studying.
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